[Women] Women's Group Feb. 10

Annie Warmke annie at bluerockstation.com
Tue Feb 9 10:47:27 CST 2021


Thanks Melinda McDowell.  That's a great idea.  I hope a lot of this 
kind of thing can be incorporated in to how we move forward from here.  
Annie Warmke


On 2/8/2021 10:00 AM, Melinda McDowell via Women wrote:
> I would think that all policies should be in a place that the entire 
> community can readily get to them, for example in the congregation 
> handbook (if there is one) and the web page. Keeping everything out in 
> the open leads to a safer more welcoming community.
>
> Melinda
>
> Sent from my iPad
>
>> On Feb 8, 2021, at 9:57 AM, Melinda McDowell 
>> <md.mcdowell70 at gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>> 
>>
>> Sent from my iPad
>>
>>> On Feb 8, 2021, at 8:54 AM, Teresa Hayes 
>>> <teresa_asselinhayes_2000 at yahoo.com> wrote:
>>>
>>> 
>>> Thanks for sharing this Melinda. I don't know what the current FUUSM 
>>> policy is, but if there isn't one in place, there needs to be,  This 
>>> information is likely all that's necessary to develop a policy 
>>> effective for the congregation's needs.
>>>
>>> Is there a board member receiving this e-mail who can take our 
>>> concerns to the meeting today?  Chris? Kat? Nancy?
>>>
>>> Just a suggestion: Once policy is set, it might be a good course of 
>>> action to put the policy in writing and send to the members and 
>>> friends of FUUSM.  Then there will be no question about acceptable 
>>> behavior and what is not acceptable.
>>>
>>> Monday, February 8, 2021, 6:37:02 AM EST, Melinda McDowell via Women 
>>> <women at fuusm.org> wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>> _______________________________________________
>>> Women mailing list
>>> Women at fuusm.org <mailto:Women at fuusm.org>
>>> http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org 
>>> <http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org>
>>>
>>> There is a large amount of information out there concerning making a 
>>> congregation safe and examples of Unitarian Universalist sexual 
>>> harassment policies.  There is no need to reinvent the wheel.  I’ve 
>>> included links to just a few documents.
>>>
>>> https://www.uua.org/files/documents/haffnerdebra/sex_health_responsible.pdf 
>>> <https://www.uua.org/files/documents/haffnerdebra/sex_health_responsible.pdf>
>>>
>>> https://www.uua.org/safe/handbook/sexually-safer-congregations 
>>> <https://www.uua.org/safe/handbook/sexually-safer-congregations>
>>>
>>> https://uueugene.org/safe-congregation-procedures/ 
>>> <https://uueugene.org/safe-congregation-procedures/>
>>>
>>> https://secondunitarian.org/staging/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Resources-safecongregationspolicy0707.pdf 
>>> <https://secondunitarian.org/staging/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Resources-safecongregationspolicy0707.pdf>
>>>
>>> https://www.sunnyhill.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/UUCSH-Toward-a-Safe-Congregation-Policy.pdf 
>>> <https://www.sunnyhill.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/UUCSH-Toward-a-Safe-Congregation-Policy.pdf>
>>>
>>> Melinda
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> Sent from my iPad
>>>
>>>> On Feb 7, 2021, at 9:01 PM, robin--- via Women <women at fuusm.org> wrote:
>>>>
>>>> 
>>>> If in fact this information is based on second-hand knowledge, then 
>>>> I don't think any action should be taken against anyone. If the man 
>>>> who reported this is concerned, perhaps he could encourage one or 
>>>> more of the women to talk with Kat or someone from the board about 
>>>> it confidentially and then the board could take appropriate 
>>>> action.  It is unfair to challenge or confront someone without 
>>>> information directly from the person injured or harassed or a 
>>>> witness to such an event.  We could all be supportive of taking 
>>>> action if anyone has been harassed.
>>>>
>>>> And, it seems that a sexual harassment policy wouldn't be a bad idea.
>>>>
>>>> Robin
>>>>
>>>>     -------- Original Message --------
>>>>     Subject: Re: [Women] Women's Group Feb. 10
>>>>     From: Annie Warmke via Women <women at fuusm.org
>>>>     <mailto:women at fuusm.org>>
>>>>     Date: Sat, February 06, 2021 6:30 pm
>>>>     To: amdbone--- via Women <women at fuusm.org <mailto:women at fuusm.org>>
>>>>     Cc: Annie Warmke <annie at bluerockstation.com
>>>>     <mailto:annie at bluerockstation.com>>
>>>>
>>>>     I outlined the sequence of events starting with July 2019 so I
>>>>     think the
>>>>     man who brought the information did his due diligence. What has
>>>>     become
>>>>     obvious is that we need to make sure we have adequate ways to
>>>>     address
>>>>     sexual harassment, and perhaps even bullying.  We perhaps need to
>>>>     periodically announce we are a safe space on these issues.  We're
>>>>     working on something to give to the board to address the
>>>>     current issue,
>>>>     and future issues...a strategy, if you will.  Annie
>>>>
>>>>     On 2/6/2021 1:17 PM, amdbone--- via Women wrote:
>>>>     > After carefully reading the ongoing onslaught of emails, I
>>>>     have to go back to the original statement. A man told me that
>>>>     there are 4 women sexually harrassed...does anyone else see a
>>>>     problem with this? I think, normally, when hearing this sort of
>>>>     gossip, one has to be concerned with both men and the spreading
>>>>     of gossip, whether true or not. if this statement by "the man"
>>>>     is true, why didn't he take appropriate measures? Again, just
>>>>     my opinion, but it sure looks like what is needed might be as
>>>>     simple as board accessibility if there are sound concerns with
>>>>     facts.
>>>>     >
>>>>     >
>>>>     > ---- nancy wolske via Women <women at fuusm.org
>>>>     <mailto:women at fuusm.org>> wrote:
>>>>     >> The breadth of the conversation continued, so I’m glad Cindy
>>>>     spoke up.
>>>>     >> The onus is on anyone using email to be aware of to whom
>>>>     you’re sending a message, especially so when someone’s being
>>>>     accused and named, and especially when the accuser remains
>>>>     anonymous and the accusation is hearsay.  Much harm can result.
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> On Saturday, February 6, 2021, 12:29 PM, Rebecca Phillips
>>>>     via Women <women at fuusm.org <mailto:women at fuusm.org>> wrote:
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> #yiv4074534208 P {margin-top:0;margin-bottom:0;}To all: the
>>>>     breadth of the conversation was accidental.
>>>>     >> "If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you
>>>>     need."-- Cicero
>>>>     >> From: Women <women-bounces at fuusm.org
>>>>     <mailto:women-bounces at fuusm.org>> on behalf of nancy wolske via
>>>>     Women <women at fuusm.org <mailto:women at fuusm.org>>
>>>>     >> Sent: Saturday, February 6, 2021 12:18 PM
>>>>     >> To: A List for the Women of FUUSM <women at fuusm.org
>>>>     <mailto:women at fuusm.org>>
>>>>     >> Cc: nancy wolske <nwolske17 at yahoo.com
>>>>     <mailto:nwolske17 at yahoo.com>>
>>>>     >> Subject: Re: [Women] Women's Group Feb. 10 Absolutely.
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPhone
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> On Saturday, February 6, 2021, 12:10 PM, Cindy Brown via
>>>>     Women <women at fuusm.org <mailto:women at fuusm.org>> wrote:
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> I'd like to just reiterate Teresa's earlier email - this
>>>>     conversation really should not be taking place on such a large
>>>>     list. I'm quite uncomfortable with this knowledge that I have
>>>>     no right to possess.
>>>>     >> ThanksCindy
>>>>     >> On Sat, Feb 6, 2021 at 11:55 AM Chris via Women
>>>>     <women at fuusm.org <mailto:women at fuusm.org>> wrote:
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> I did not know this about Paul Dunn. I do not know the names
>>>>     of the women he harassed before he left. Let me know their
>>>>     names  or keep them provate. That is okay with me. I am on the
>>>>     Board as well as Beth Lapore and Nancy Luthy. So if anyone has
>>>>     information you want us to bring up at the Board meeting on
>>>>     Monday, let one of us know. My though right now is someone or
>>>>     Kat should confront him when he returns. Tell him he is
>>>>     welcomed into our community, but his behavior will not be
>>>>     tolerated. Well, something like that. Give one of us feedback
>>>>     for the meeting and I will share with you what I learned at the
>>>>     Board meeting. Chris
>>>>     >> From: Maureen <women at fuusm.org <mailto:women at fuusm.org>>
>>>>     >> To: A List <women at fuusm.org <mailto:women at fuusm.org>>
>>>>     >> Cc: Maureen <maureenolander at gmail.com
>>>>     <mailto:maureenolander at gmail.com>>
>>>>     >> Date: Saturday, 6 February 2021 10:13 AM EST
>>>>     >> Subject: Re: [Women] Women's Group Feb. 10
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> I have a couple of thoughts based on harassment at my
>>>>     workplaces:  First, it does no good to mildly rebuke the
>>>>     harasser. My first harasser used to ogle and leer whenever I
>>>>     approached his desk, which I had to do frequently. He was
>>>>     sitting on a high stool (he was a dispatcher) and one day I
>>>>     accidentally brushed his crotch area. He started hooting and I
>>>>     just snapped. I said very loudly “John, f*** off!” There was
>>>>     dead silence in the dispatcher’s room for several minutes. I
>>>>     never had a problem again. Make a stink. Be loud.  The second
>>>>     technique is based on advice to document workplace incidents,
>>>>     when, where and what. I wrote a letter to my harasser
>>>>     recounting what he did and when and asking him to stop. When
>>>>     the time was right I used it with satisfactory results. In all
>>>>     my experiences I was harassed by men whom I’d turned down for a
>>>>     date or had otherwise hurt their little egos, no matter how
>>>>     gently. Remember that these incidents are all about revenge and
>>>>     aggression, so respond accordingly. It sounds like we need a UU
>>>>     Me Too.
>>>>     >>  Shalom, Maureen Hope
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> On Feb 5, 2021, at 9:53 AM, Teresa Hayes via Women
>>>>     <women at fuusm.org <mailto:women at fuusm.org>> wrote:
>>>>     >>  FYI:  This was sent to all of the women's group not to
>>>>     Karen or Rebecca alone.
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> I don't object to this being sent to everyone, but I do want
>>>>     to point out that there are two reply arrows that one can use
>>>>     on e-mails. The single arrow replies to the person who sent the
>>>>     e-mail and the double arrow replies to the entire group, in
>>>>     this instance to the women's group. In many cases it's
>>>>     important to be sure who you are replying to.
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> Since it came to everyone, I wanted to offer an opinion. 
>>>>     It's important for the woman who is being harassed to step into
>>>>     her own power and let Paul know his advances are unwanted.  I
>>>>     know some women do not feel capable of doing this, so it is up
>>>>     to each of us who do, to step forward and support our sisters
>>>>     until they do feel empowered enough to speak for themselves. 
>>>>     After all, Paul is not the only man in our community who might
>>>>     sexually harass a woman.  By community I mean our church
>>>>     community, work community, larger community, any community of
>>>>     which a woman may be a member.
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> So, standing on the side of love for my sisters, I suggest
>>>>     we formulate a plan to let Paul know that his advances and
>>>>     sexual harassment will not be tolerated.  And we need to base
>>>>     this upon either existing church policy, or develop a church
>>>>     policy that addresses sexual harassment.  It really is no more
>>>>     difficult than we make it.
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> If anyone wishes to reply to me personally about this,
>>>>     please feel free to do so. teresa_asselinhayes_2000 at yahoo.com
>>>>     <mailto:teresa_asselinhayes_2000 at yahoo.com> or 740-350-6249 On
>>>>     Thursday, February 4, 2021, 2:43:14 PM EST, Annie Warmke via
>>>>     Women <women at fuusm.org <mailto:women at fuusm.org>> wrote:
>>>>     >> Karen;  Here's what I'd like to speak about.
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> This has to do with Paul Dunn and his sexual harassment of
>>>>     at least four women in the months before he left.  It is
>>>>     reported that he is returning in a few days so this is very
>>>>     worrisome me that women are not safe in our church family.  I
>>>>     am concerned also because four came forward but how many others
>>>>     are there?  Initially (July 2019) a man spoke from church spoke
>>>>     to me about Paul and asked what to do.  I suggested he go to
>>>>     the board president and Kat.  He did do that but nothing came
>>>>     of it.
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> Now that Paul is returning the man who spoke up is very
>>>>     concerned, and spoke to me again.  I asked him to talk to Kat
>>>>     and the board to find out what our policy is on handling sexual
>>>>     harassment.  He was told that they would work on it on Monday
>>>>     at the board meeting.  That made me wonder if there is a
>>>>     policy, and if so, why weren't they adhering to it?
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> I brought the initial report up at the Women's mo. meeting
>>>>     in Aug. 2019 and asked what could be done. There was a
>>>>     discussion but nothing came of it.  I don't feel we should be
>>>>     the ones taking the lead on this.  It is the men who must step
>>>>     up and support the one who initially brought it to everyone's
>>>>     attention.
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> It is clear something needs to be done before Paul returns.
>>>>     Shouldn't we, as a women's group make a statement about sexual
>>>>     harassment and how we want it dealt with?  I cannot look away. 
>>>>     Annie
>>>>     >> On 2/4/2021 1:33 PM, Karen Binkley via Women wrote:I am
>>>>     available to talk if you would like. Karen Binkley
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> Sent from my iPhone
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> On Feb 4, 2021, at 12:41 PM, Annie Warmke via Women
>>>>     <women at fuusm.org <mailto:women at fuusm.org>> wrote:
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> Do you have time for me to call you to talk about a problem
>>>>     that, as women, we may want to address? Annie
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> On 2/4/2021 11:43 AM, Rebecca Phillips via Women
>>>>     wrote:Greetings, women of FUUSM, Just a reminder that our
>>>>     monthly meeting will be next Wednesday, February 10, at 7:00
>>>>     PM. We will be using the church Zoom link (copied below). Our
>>>>     theme is the UU theme of "Side With Love," so please bring an
>>>>     example, anecdote, poem, whatever on ways that you/we have
>>>>     sided with love for people, animals, the planet. . .
>>>>     https://zoom.us/j/94822183499?pwd=ZVhkMHZWSnR1bTI5czZWRk1zdFFmQT09Meeting
>>>>     <https://zoom.us/j/94822183499?pwd=ZVhkMHZWSnR1bTI5czZWRk1zdFFmQT09Meeting>
>>>>     ID: 948 2218 3499 Passcode: fuusm2323Hope to see you
>>>>     then! Rebecca "If you have a garden and a library, you have
>>>>     everything you need."-- Cicero
>>>>     >> _______________________________________________
>>>>     >> Women mailing list
>>>>     >> Women at fuusm.org <mailto:Women at fuusm.org>
>>>>     >> http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org
>>>>     <http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org>
>>>>     >> --
>>>>     >> Annie Warmke
>>>>     >> Farmer, activist, consultant, writer
>>>>     >> Blue Rock Station/Warmke Farm LLC
>>>>     >> www.bluerockstation.com <http://www.bluerockstation.com>
>>>>     >> (740) 674-4300 or (740) 252-6295 Mobile
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> Radio: When the Biomass Hits the Wind Turbine
>>>>     >> WOUB Digital Wednesday 9 am
>>>>     >> WGRN Digital Friday 11:30 am & Saturday 8:30 am
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> Publications:
>>>>     >> The Business of Goat Herding (BRS Media)
>>>>     >> The Journey Toward Nothing (BRS Media)
>>>>     >> Naturally Healthy Goats (BRS Media)
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> Podcasts: bluerockstation.com <http://bluerockstation.com>
>>>>     >> When the Biomass Hits the Wind Turbine
>>>>     >> Arriving at Blue Rock Station
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> | | Virus-free. www.avg.com <http://www.avg.com> |
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> <annie.vcf
>>>>     <http://annie.vcf>>_______________________________________________
>>>>     >> Women mailing list
>>>>     >> Women at fuusm.org <mailto:Women at fuusm.org>
>>>>     >> http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org
>>>>     <http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> _______________________________________________
>>>>     >> Women mailing list
>>>>     >> Women at fuusm.org <mailto:Women at fuusm.org>
>>>>     >> http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org
>>>>     <http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org>
>>>>     >> --
>>>>     >> Annie Warmke
>>>>     >> Farmer, activist, consultant, writer
>>>>     >> Blue Rock Station/Warmke Farm LLC
>>>>     >> www.bluerockstation.com <http://www.bluerockstation.com>
>>>>     >> (740) 674-4300 or (740) 252-6295 Mobile
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> Radio: When the Biomass Hits the Wind Turbine
>>>>     >> WOUB Digital Wednesday 9 am
>>>>     >> WGRN Digital Friday 11:30 am & Saturday 8:30 am
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> Publications:
>>>>     >> The Business of Goat Herding (BRS Media)
>>>>     >> The Journey Toward Nothing (BRS Media)
>>>>     >> Naturally Healthy Goats (BRS Media)
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> Podcasts: bluerockstation.com <http://bluerockstation.com>
>>>>     >> When the Biomass Hits the Wind Turbine
>>>>     >> Arriving at Blue Rock
>>>>     Station_______________________________________________
>>>>     >> Women mailing list
>>>>     >> Women at fuusm.org <mailto:Women at fuusm.org>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org_______________________________________________
>>>>     <http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org_______________________________________________>
>>>>     >> Women mailing list
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>>>>     >> http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org
>>>>     <http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> _______________________________________________
>>>>     >> Women mailing list
>>>>     >> Women at fuusm.org <mailto:Women at fuusm.org>
>>>>     >> http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org
>>>>     <http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> _______________________________________________
>>>>     >> Women mailing list
>>>>     >> Women at fuusm.org <mailto:Women at fuusm.org>
>>>>     >> http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org
>>>>     <http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >> _______________________________________________
>>>>     >> Women mailing list
>>>>     >> Women at fuusm.org <mailto:Women at fuusm.org>
>>>>     >> http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org
>>>>     <http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >>
>>>>     >
>>>>     > _______________________________________________
>>>>     > Women mailing list
>>>>     > Women at fuusm.org <mailto:Women at fuusm.org>
>>>>     > http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org
>>>>     <http://fuusm.org/mailman/listinfo/women_fuusm.org>
>>>>
>>>>     --
>>>>     Annie Warmke
>>>>     Farmer, activist, consultant, writer
>>>>     Blue Rock Station/Warmke Farm LLC
>>>>     www.bluerockstation.com <http://www.bluerockstation.com>
>>>>     (740) 674-4300 or (740) 252-6295 Mobile
>>>>
>>>>     Radio: When the Biomass Hits the Wind Turbine
>>>>     WOUB Digital Wednesday 9 am
>>>>     WGRN Digital Friday 11:30 am & Saturday 8:30 am
>>>>
>>>>     Publications:
>>>>     The Business of Goat Herding (BRS Media)
>>>>     The Journey Toward Nothing (BRS Media)
>>>>     Naturally Healthy Goats (BRS Media)
>>>>
>>>>     Podcasts: bluerockstation.com <http://bluerockstation.com>
>>>>     When the Biomass Hits the Wind Turbine
>>>>     Arriving at Blue Rock Station
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>     --
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>
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-- 
Annie Warmke
Farmer, activist, consultant, writer
Blue Rock Station/Warmke Farm LLC
www.bluerockstation.com
(740) 674-4300 or (740) 252-6295 Mobile

Radio: When the Biomass Hits the Wind Turbine
WOUB Digital Wednesday 9 am
WGRN Digital Friday 11:30 am & Saturday 8:30 am

Publications:
The Business of Goat Herding (BRS Media)
The Journey Toward Nothing (BRS Media)
Naturally Healthy Goats (BRS Media)

Podcasts: bluerockstation.com
When the Biomass Hits the Wind Turbine
Arriving at Blue Rock Station

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