[Fuusmchat] (no subject)

[Annie Warmke]

Ted and et al;  I need to respond to Ted's latest email because it 
reached in and grabbed my heart.  Before anyone responds to me I hope 
you will take time to consider my thoughts.  I'm not attempting to 
summarize anything but am eager to address Ted's concerns.  They are 
important to how we proceed.

At the congregational meeting I was so deeply distressed at what I heard 
that it made me sick at my stomach.  Learning of the pattern of behavior 
that many of us have experienced individually (not just one person) was 
unnerving.  From the beginning of my connection to FUUSM there has been 
the question (in my mind) Ted posed in his email;  "Why do we find it 
easier to talk about somebody behind their back than face to face?"

I don't believe it is embarrassment that has caused people to talk 
behind other's backs, or look the other way - it is often fear of being 
identified when they tell "their" truth   One time when I was speaking 
with someone to understand how a FUUSM's committee's process worked the 
person was a bit combative at my inability to understand what they were 
explaining.  After I continued to try to drill down to understand the 
process, the person leaned forward and "whispered" that the last part of 
the process required another person to contact certain people and that 
person did not follow through.  That is fear speaking.

It is clear that we heard "fear" repeatedly on Wednesday.  My hope is 
that we continue to put that fear on the table so we can learn from it 
and move on to making some decisions that heal us, but also create a 
system that does not allow the types of consistent behavior we are 
learning about to continue.  Also, I am hoping that the people who have 
heard the stories of heartache and real fear do not look away from the 
truths being shared.  It takes great courage to stand up in front of our 
peers, and people we care about, let alone to share stories that 
describe abuse, and a sense of being unsafe.

Didn't the information sent out originally state we would be on Zoom?.  
Zoom is possible and can be done easily, as Ted pointed out.  If there 
are objections then let's hear (email?) them so we can move forward.  Annie

On 7/28/2023 7:51 AM, Ted Goertzel wrote:
> Why do we find it easier to talk about somebody behind their back than 
> face to face? 

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