[Fuusm-l] Today's Issues discussion of polyamory this Sunday sparks some interest

Fri Feb 9 16:45:14 CST 2024

Re: Today's Issues reading.  Polyamory kerfuffle.

I agree with Nathan's concerns and was planning to attend the session by
zoom and try to shed some light.  As many know, Michelle and I have always
been a polyamorous couple and began our relationship 12 years ago as part
of a polycule.  In the intervening years we have each had warm
relationships with others and it has been a joyous and appreciated part of
our lives. At this time we are 7 months into a relationship with a glorious
woman who is lovingly partnered with both of us.  In the near future we 3
and her 2 daughters plan to combine our lives as a family of 5 sharing a
home.  We have participated in many workshops and been leaders in the poly
community providing information and counsel to others for several years and
we are well qualified to address the topic.

That piece was written by a person who is not Polyamorous, about a book
written by a woman who attempted to practice a horribly misguided and
unethical rendition of polyamory for all the wrong reasons and was not
equipped with the knowledge or tools to do it responsibly and well, and
predictably failed.  Any knowledgeable member of our community would have
talked to her for 3 minutes and counseled her to rethink her decision to
enter into those circumstances.  The article is inaccurate and biased and
treats a sad worst case scenario as if it were the norm.

If we would like to discuss what polyamory is really about Dawn and
Michelle and I would love to join Nathan and Kayla and the rest of the
FUUSM family in a lively talk.  I/we plan to attend and we hope for a frank
discussion.  We are a loving triad that has been functioning well for some
time and there are no secrets.  We would like to share and educate about
polyamory that works.  The poly lifestyle is not for everybody, but those
of us who can and do practice it well it is endlessly rewarding.

See you Sunday morning,

Gil, Michelle and Dawn

On Fri, Feb 9, 2024 at 4:37 PM Ted Goertzel via Fuusm-l <fuusm-l at fuusm.org>
wrote:

> The discussion of polyamory scheduled for this Sunday in the Today's
> Issues group has sparked some interest.  I received two emails from Nathan
> Crowley (you may remember Nathan and his wife Kayla Campbell
> <https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wC-x1AuWkfdiCMPFEQBdBdOaG859bukBUpdyk6Gfl48/edit>who
> introduced us to Samhain and other pagan traditions).  Nathan expressed
> concern that the reading we had selected, from The Atlantic, treated
> polyamory as a fad rather than a lifestyle choice.  Here are his emails:
>
>
> *Why is being polyamorous being discussed?  Don't you think you should
> have someone who is actually polyamorous talk to you about being
> polyamorous? You have a wonderful couple [in the church], me  and my wife.
> I for one don't like the fact that it's being called a fad. I mean I'm not
> trying to come off as angry about this, I just want a little bit of an
> explanation.*
>
> *This is a follow-up to my first email. After a little bit more thought.
> And consideration I understand that it might be tempting to read articles
> about a particular lifestyle and think you know all about that lifestyle.
> But honestly I read that article and I don't really think it represents all
> of polyamory. I think so many people are very quick to point out the
> negative sides of polyamory. And while  me and my wife . Could not possibly
> speak for the entire polyamorous community. I think that at least getting
> our input on the matter would be justified. Also having a really hard time
> understanding why this is being discussed at church. Sincerely Nathan
> Crowley.*
>
> I explained that I didn't even know Marietta had a polyamorous
> community, I just happened to see the story in The Atlantic. I didn't mean
> to snub anybody.  I've invited Nathan and/or Kayla to join us on Sunday,
> either in person or on Zoom.  I hope one or both can make it, we would
> certainly like to hear from them.  I've also invited my (adult) grandson,
> Zar Goertzel, who lives in Prague and is a proponent of polyamory.  He says
> he will probably join us on Zoom.
>
>  There is some sort of precedent, we hosted a book signing some years ago
> for David Matteson, a Unitarian Minister who published a book I Took Both
> Roads: My Journey as a Bisexual Husband.
> <https://www.amazon.com/s?k=I+took+both+roads+Matteson&crid=1AWDJJHXMYLTE&sprefix=i+took+both+roads+matteso%2Caps%2C480&ref=nb_sb_noss>
> I'm not sure if that counts as polyamory, but we have a record of hearing
> from proponents of different lifestyles. We are also continuing our
> discussion of the crisis in Unitarianism. Who knows, maybe we can be the
> first church to add a P to LGBTQ.
>
> All are welcome to our discussion, but please do the reading first.  Here
> is the information:
>
> The Today's Issues group meets at 9:30 on Sunday mornings in person in the
> parlor of the Religious Education buildings next to the church and on zoom
>   We will meet this Sunday, February 11, 2024,  to discuss the following
> readings:
>
> "My Church is Dying and I'm Ok with it
> <https://praywithyourfeet.org/2019/12/17/my-church-is-dying-and-im-ok-with-that/>,"
> from the Pray with Your Feet website. It argues that UUism and liberal
> religion had its historical moment which is passing, and makes some
> suggestions about what we can do about it.
>
> Polyamory:  the Ruling Class’s Latest Fad.
> <https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bt7I9Qinm7v7MfXP8Uwg9fV0-vHL3AqPUK6dqRY_Q7I/edit?usp=sharing>
> Americans who most reap the benefits of marriage are the same class who get
> to declare monogamy passé and boring.  This is from The Atlantic Magazine’s
> website.
>
>
> Click on this link to join the discussion on Zoom.
>
> https://zoom.us/j/92505235702?pwd=RmUyN1FOUjhBVHRYSDBWY2dUZWxFQT09
>
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