[Fuusm-l] Today's Issues discussion of polyamory this Sunday sparks some interest

Fri Feb 9 20:52:44 CST 2024

I’ve been UU for years and definitely understand the idea of discussing
polyamory in church, much like we talk about LGBTQ+ people in the Welcoming
Congregation curriculum. There is in fact a polyamory curriculum for
Unitarians which I explored going through as a continuing religious
education back when I was more involved. The purpose of such curricula is
to educate us so we can be more inclusive. However, picking an article that
could breed misunderstanding and breed judgment of our polyamorous friends
is not the way it should be approached.

As many know, I’m members of both the LGBT and polyamorous communities. I’m
very open about these things. I know many people in the Marietta area who
are polyamorous and in many cases, they choose to stay closeted because it
makes life easier. Much like LGBT issues in the past, there is a lot of
discrimination against polyamorous families and people worry for their
jobs, futures, and sometimes even custody issues. It’s just not worth the
conflict.

We as Unitarians should be the place where people can feel accepted and
included. It should be one of the places where people can come and talk
about their families and share. Because of that, education is important,
However, I don’t think this article is helping us head that direction.

Sincerely,

Michelle Wilson, AIF®, CSRIC®

Independent Fee-Only Financial Planner

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On Fri, Feb 9, 2024 at 4:37 PM Ted Goertzel via Fuusm-l <fuusm-l at fuusm.org>
wrote:

> The discussion of polyamory scheduled for this Sunday in the Today's
> Issues group has sparked some interest.  I received two emails from Nathan
> Crowley (you may remember Nathan and his wife Kayla Campbell
> <https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wC-x1AuWkfdiCMPFEQBdBdOaG859bukBUpdyk6Gfl48/edit>who
> introduced us to Samhain and other pagan traditions).  Nathan expressed
> concern that the reading we had selected, from The Atlantic, treated
> polyamory as a fad rather than a lifestyle choice.  Here are his emails:
>
>
> *Why is being polyamorous being discussed?  Don't you think you should
> have someone who is actually polyamorous talk to you about being
> polyamorous? You have a wonderful couple [in the church], me  and my wife.
> I for one don't like the fact that it's being called a fad. I mean I'm not
> trying to come off as angry about this, I just want a little bit of an
> explanation.*
>
> *This is a follow-up to my first email. After a little bit more thought.
> And consideration I understand that it might be tempting to read articles
> about a particular lifestyle and think you know all about that lifestyle.
> But honestly I read that article and I don't really think it represents all
> of polyamory. I think so many people are very quick to point out the
> negative sides of polyamory. And while  me and my wife . Could not possibly
> speak for the entire polyamorous community. I think that at least getting
> our input on the matter would be justified. Also having a really hard time
> understanding why this is being discussed at church. Sincerely Nathan
> Crowley.*
>
> I explained that I didn't even know Marietta had a polyamorous
> community, I just happened to see the story in The Atlantic. I didn't mean
> to snub anybody.  I've invited Nathan and/or Kayla to join us on Sunday,
> either in person or on Zoom.  I hope one or both can make it, we would
> certainly like to hear from them.  I've also invited my (adult) grandson,
> Zar Goertzel, who lives in Prague and is a proponent of polyamory.  He says
> he will probably join us on Zoom.
>
>  There is some sort of precedent, we hosted a book signing some years ago
> for David Matteson, a Unitarian Minister who published a book I Took Both
> Roads: My Journey as a Bisexual Husband.
> <https://www.amazon.com/s?k=I+took+both+roads+Matteson&crid=1AWDJJHXMYLTE&sprefix=i+took+both+roads+matteso%2Caps%2C480&ref=nb_sb_noss>
> I'm not sure if that counts as polyamory, but we have a record of hearing
> from proponents of different lifestyles. We are also continuing our
> discussion of the crisis in Unitarianism. Who knows, maybe we can be the
> first church to add a P to LGBTQ.
>
> All are welcome to our discussion, but please do the reading first.  Here
> is the information:
>
> The Today's Issues group meets at 9:30 on Sunday mornings in person in the
> parlor of the Religious Education buildings next to the church and on zoom
>   We will meet this Sunday, February 11, 2024,  to discuss the following
> readings:
>
> "My Church is Dying and I'm Ok with it
> <https://praywithyourfeet.org/2019/12/17/my-church-is-dying-and-im-ok-with-that/>,"
> from the Pray with Your Feet website. It argues that UUism and liberal
> religion had its historical moment which is passing, and makes some
> suggestions about what we can do about it.
>
> Polyamory:  the Ruling Class’s Latest Fad.
> <https://docs.google.com/document/d/1bt7I9Qinm7v7MfXP8Uwg9fV0-vHL3AqPUK6dqRY_Q7I/edit?usp=sharing>
> Americans who most reap the benefits of marriage are the same class who get
> to declare monogamy passé and boring.  This is from The Atlantic Magazine’s
> website.
>
>
> Click on this link to join the discussion on Zoom.
>
> https://zoom.us/j/92505235702?pwd=RmUyN1FOUjhBVHRYSDBWY2dUZWxFQT09
>
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