[Women] April meeting

Tue Apr 7 11:53:31 CDT 2020

 Hello all, this is Laura Grolla, recently a Marietta resident and now returned to Texas. I felt such connection with you all that I thought I'd add a brief share about reinvention as I am right in the middle of it. I must admit my soul picked a strange time but my soul has been in charge and the path continues in its odd miraculous unfolding.
I agree with Annie that reinvention is uncomfortable and a lot of work. I came to Ohio to help my beloved mother pass and thought it would be a year to two or three and decided to quit my job as a Victim's Advocate and paralegal in a small town in Texas and let God do with me what he or she would. It was exciting, no, thrilling, to so surrender to the divine. There was a peace and certainty to it that has stayed with me, the wonderful feeling of being swept up into a wave of purpose in behalf of a wholehearted act of love. I had a dream that I should go to Marietta and I woke up, quit my job and began packing. It took two months to compress my two bedroom house and studio into what would fit in my beloved Sequioia and I hit the road.
When I got to Marietta, I did not unpack but simply lived out of my suitcases while I jumped in to taking care of my mom for 6 to 10 hours a day. It was heartbreaking and heart warming at the same time. I got to read Gloria several books while we looked up words together on Google and shared laughs over the excellent writing. We are both writers, artists and poets and I got quality time with a quality soulmate. Best of all, when she had lucid moments, I got to tell her specifically and completely what I loved and admired about her and how grateful I was for her mothering. This was all I could have asked and more.
Sadly, my step-father seemed envious and hostile and began an almost daily resistance to me and my efforts that resulted in me getting kicked out three weeks before Christmas. I was terrified as I knew no one and the proximity to the holidays meant that no one in my family had the money to lend me to get a place. Enter our wonderful UU ladies and Anita Newhart's offer to stay with her.  There began a new and very scary chapter of living purely by faith and finding all the love and help I needed from strangers.  I questioned why I was now in Marietta. I'd lost my purpose for being here but found a job and listened to my soul. Good and bad things happened. I made great friends and began to do art for the UU cookbook. I sang "The Gloria" with the Marietta College Oratorio in honor of my mother but was never allowed to see my mother to tell her. In fact, at every turn, my step-father refused to let me see my mother.  One night, deep in prayer, I realized that my bitterness and resentment of my step-father was making me sick. I sent a text saying I needed to forgive to let go. I got back a nice reply and found, two night later, that my Soul had given me another dream and I woke up knowing I had to go back: my job had become available in Texas.
I have been back a week now and the reinvention continues apace. And, yes, its very uncomfortable. "A mind once stretched never returns to it's original dimensions."  Marietta and UU expanded me far beyond the person who came here six months ago. I am a different person as I prepare to step back into my old role. I have experienced a sort of falling-in-love with Spirit because I surrendered so completely to my intuition, to that inner voice. It is no coincidence that a dream brought me to Marietta, a dream called me back to Texas, and now I am writing a book about dreaming.
Texas is warm and sunny and I am glad for my big skies and the light that I love as an artist, but truly, the hearts of Marietta were the brightest and the best I've ever experienced. I would like to keep in touch. And if anyone would like to work with me on dreams and dreaming, I would love it. My grandmother had "the sight" and I learned to work with dreams from childhood and this book fulfills a lifelong pursuit. Thank you, all, for your warmth and support. I will miss you.

~Laura

    On Tuesday, April 7, 2020, 12:15:52 PM EDT, Martha McGovern via Women <women at fuusm.org> wrote:  

 When was a time in your life when you had to start over?  Yes - a very thoughtful question.  Thank you for raising it.I'll speak to the time that brought me to the Mid-Ohio Area.  I had had a lot of practice starting over because Pat and I had agreed that his career decisions would take precedence over mine.  So, we had been in New York, Pennsylvania, and many locations in Ohio.  Circumstances changed, though, when he retired and I, having completed my doctoral studies, accepted my first position at Georgia Southern University.  I really liked the overall university, the location was close to one of Pat's daughters and her young family, and my teaching assignment (language development, methods of teaching reading and language arts, and supervision of pre-service teachers in the field) was a good match.  The problem was the person who was the head of our division within the College of Education.  After three years, the work dynamics made life unbearable.  For my own mental health, I needed to leave.  There were other issues, too: my mother's failing health, Pat's first bout with cancer and other ongoing health concerns, our dissatisfaction with the HEAT and social dishonesty of the South.  Anyway, I asked myself where would I choose to live?  The answer was the Marietta area.  I had attended a conference here in years past and remembered its atmosphere.  When I looked in the Chronicle of Higher Education, there was an advertisement for a position at WVU at Parkersburg with a split responsibility in the Humanities Division, especially Developmental Education (teaching strategic skills for reading, study, and writing for success in college) and in the Teacher Education Division (methods of teaching language development and literacy).  It was my dream job, in my first choice of locations.  In the interviewing and visiting process, I met Rebecca Phillips and learned of her connection with FUUSM.  Pat and I had "flirted" with UU-ism over the years, but now I could see a coherence in my future --  a job doing all the things I liked to do, in a good institution, in a location close to my family, and with connection to a compatible spiritual community.  We moved over Christmas break in 2000 -- a tough and cold transition -- and I started the new job in January of 2001.  That start-over decision was the best one I ever made.  Being part of this Beloved Community had made all the difference.  Thank you.  Martha
From: Annie Warmke via Women Sent: Tuesday, April 07, 2020 11:06 AMTo: women at fuusm.org Cc: Annie Warmke Subject: Re: [Women] April meeting

What a great topic!  I started over (a farmer's wife) in 1981 by hiding in a battered women's shelter and leaving everything but my 5 year old daughter behind.  I re-invented myself after that so that I graduated college, founded 22 battered women's projects/3 women's funds/17 women freed from prison who acted in self-defense, and created lots of cultural/social change through that work.  

Next time I re-invented myself was in 2002 when I left the US with nothing but our 6 year old granddaughter that we'd raised from birth.  It felt like someone had taken a giant eraser and wiped out my career, my friends, my goals but I'd promised Catlyn we would be there for her.  During the 3 1/2 years we fought in court for her I stumbled often but I found my way by writing for a newspaper about life in a small town (first France and then England) as a way to protest the invasion of Iraq after 9/11.  I volunteered at Catlyn's school to teach English to French 5 year olds, and I translated the SOS FEMMES' prostitutes health and safety "Little Blue Book".  I grew an amazing garden, made friends, traveled everywhere imaginable, and tried not to loose my mind as I mourned the life I left behind.

When we returned to the US in late 2004 I re-invented myself again as the builder of an Earthship, the first one east of the MS.  I learned how to use the Internet and social media, won custody in court of our granddaughter (that's a whole other story involving the grand jury indicting us and more), and learned to be a goat herder.  

Reinventing is a miserable experience - it's like being birthed into a new reality and trying to make sense of what works, and what doesn't.  I had hoped not to do it again, but I find myself there right now with our need to push our business online.  We'd been doing that a little at a time, but now we have had to push all of our classes and workshops to the fall with the hope that things will improve for our country's health.  While we'd had a plan to speed up the process of the transition in late 2020 we find that we must let go of everything else and just focus on this one thing for now.   Perhaps the most nerving for me is the separation physically of those I love deeply.  It is growing difficult as the days pass with no physical contact with people like our granddaughter, who is married and lives an hour away with poor transportation.  Jay and I have agreed we will sequester here until it is safe, which  means no visitors.  It is especially difficult to say "no" to former interns who would like to be here with us since they are not going to work everyday, but if we are to remain reasonably safe we need to honor our agreement to each other.

Perhaps there will be one more re-invention as I grow older and have to stop being a goat herder, and a farmer.  That work sustains me so I am making plans for how I can continue to hand on to that part of my life.  But then the best laid plans often are not how things turn out.  I hope to hear more stories from each other you.  Annie

On 4/6/2020 9:10 PM, Rebecca Phillips via Women wrote:

 Great topic!  
   "If you have a garden and a library, you have everything you need."-- Cicero  
  From: Women <women-bounces at fuusm.org> on behalf of Gillian via Women <women at fuusm.org>
Sent: Monday, April 6, 2020 8:04 PM
To: A List for the Women of FUUSM <women at fuusm.org>
Cc: Gillian <gillianabbo at gmail.com>
Subject: [Women] April meeting   Hello  As the host for the now cancelled April Women’s Group meeting it was suggested that I still pose a question for discussion as we do at our gathering. We can email any response that you may wish to share. I was talking with Caitlin and it is her topic. Hugs Gillian  
 Women’s Group Topic of Discussion: Though these are strange and difficult times, a promising future still lingers on the horizon. The sun is shining its face, the birds are singing in their choirs, and the flowers are beginning to stretch their arms skyward. Spring is upon is. And with it comes rebirth, renewal, and hope. 
 This leads me to my topic of conversation for the week. When was a time in your life where you had to start again? Find a new beginning? Start a new chapter in your life? Was it through circumstance forced upon you, or was it perhaps  spurred through your own free will?  
 There are many such occasions in an individual’s life, but I hope that we can focus on the positive. In these difficult times it’s good to remember how much we’ve already overcome and how we’ve thrived regardless. Like a dandelion through the pavement’s cracks, we will all see the light again. 
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-- 
Annie Warmke
Farmer, activist, consultant, writer
Blue Rock Station/Warmke Farm LLC
www.bluerockstation.com
(740) 674-4300 or (740) 252-6295 Mobile 

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